🗺 / twitter? More like SHITTER amirite famalam

This is the second time in a month that they’ve locked my account for “suspicious activity” for no real reason, then held my account ransom in an effort to get my phone number. I get this email:

oopsie daisy, its all better nao

…but when I go to any page on Twitter, this thing is all that ever appears:

give us your phone number

…so, I went into pr0nmode, and lo and behold, my account’s still fucking locked.

haha get fucked lol---twitter dot com

Even before they started pretending to have unlocked my account, they kept sending me shit like this (“hey u, come onto twitter bb- oh wait you cant bcus yr b& lol hhaha get prank’d faggot”):

Twitter being Twitter

Oh, and like the incompetent fuckwits they are, the morons at Twitter have an empty title element on their shitty https://twitter.com/account/access/ page, so the page is technically not valid HTML, and the browser tab title will be god-knows-what. Aaaaaaaaaaand you’re served an entirely different page that 301-redirects to a soft 404 if you’re not logged into a locked account. What the actual fuck.

<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
  <meta charset="utf-8">
  <title></title> <!-- OFFENDING ELEMENT HERE -->
  <link href="https://abs.twimg.com/favicons/favicon.ico" rel="shortcut icon" type="image/x-icon">
  <link href="https://abs-0.twimg.com/bouncer/bouncer_responsive.07231decbaf5f594b12b67e855bdbbd86a2939ef.css" rel="stylesheet">
  
</head>
<body  class="ResponsiveLayout ">
    <div class="TopNav">
      <div class="TopNav--container u-cf">

<!-- …TRUNCATED FOR YOUR SANITY -->

Fuck Twitter.


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